Confessions of a serial plant killer

My house has officially barfed all over James' house. His entire kitchen and living room floor areas are hidden by boxes and bags of my things. It's hard to unpack these kinds of things mostly because we have not yet gotten all of our furniture situation straightened out and we NEED more storage. I also have a whole box full of picture frames that are just waiting for someone to hang them... hint.

I have spent a lot of the past few days over here, just trying to get things in order and not seem so chaotic so he doesn't have an "oh-my-god-there-is-girl-stuff-everywhere" meltdown every day when he comes home from work.

Yesterday I decided, while I was over here, that after I unloaded my car full of junk on the kitchen floor ("*Blegh*" - House barf), I would replant all of the flowers around the house.

James takes a lot of pride in his yardwork and his planters always look fantastic. I knew it was going to be a challenge to make them look up-to-par. But I set out anyways, to the Sunshine Grow Shop, an outdoor flower shop on Hurstbourne Parkway. It is awesome. They have gorgeous flowers that I know I am going to kill. But, hey, the look good for the first few weeks at least, until my blank thumb sets in.

I got over $100 of flowers. Stupid. They die after a year! If I were going to spend that much on something that was just going to up and croak after such a short time I would get an awesome fish.

In the process of filling up 7 different planter pots full of dirt and flowers I stumbled upon a lovely little family of spiders. Yup. A mommy, daddy, and baby egg sack of all Black Widows. I didn't even know these things lived in Kentucky.

So, of course, I called James. How do I kill these things without them lunging for my jugular? What if they touch me? Should I keep 911 on standby?

He legitimately asked me if I had any gasoline and a lighter on hand. No. I didn't. But I did have a can of raid and a baseball bat.

I set to work on the spider family. I raided them. I batted them. Then, just for good measure, I buried them under the new potting soil and pansies.

Oh you didn't know we had a gargoyle? Why not?

All in all, the flowers look mighty fine, if I do say so myself. We still have a lot of work to be done around the patio itself - raking leaves, cleaning furniture, trimming trees, etc. I'll get to that later this week. Maybe. So long as I don't run into any spider kin.